Motivation? Yes. I think so.

Today, I feel like winning.

Know why?

Because somewhere someone is losing, and I figure, luck's gonna take it's precious time getting to me, so might as well take it into my own hands.

Thus: I skipped out on the free cookies in the square today, and the free burgers, and THEN didn't drive to get curly fries from JitB.

But... It's not that hard to ignore food, right? Tons of people do it. What's worth a blog post in that?

Moments after feeling proud of myself for passing up free food (or calories, as I like to refer to all edibles), I heard that there was a party that most of the people in my fraternity were invited to, but I wasn't.

My first thought was not anger, or jealousy, but...

Understanding.

If I were 15, 30, 65 pounds lighter... I'd have been invited. No one would want to miss the chance to see THIS woman in party gear with a shot glass in tow.

So I'm NOT upset about it- Just MOTIVATED! I WILL get that shocked look of, "WOW!" and hear people whisper, "When did she get so thhiiinnnn?" behind my back.

And... I won't miss out on free booze again because of my size. *sheepish grin*

Keep your goals in mind, home-slices! That's how you reach them!

Love,
Naomi.

Parties WILL be had!

Back to School Strength

(Texas is HOT guys.)

-You know what else is hot?-

 Gettin' back into the natural groove of planning life around an eccentric diet.

Summer is weird, in that you can get away with a lot more than you might while away at school (if you go to school).

For instance, I've got a lot of buddies, and they like to eat. A lot. 

And while I do appreciate the companionship, I'm alright without the pounds that come with the bonding experience of mealtimes.

SO:
My tactics, as always, are to...
...be available always for study time.
...pretend to ADORE coffee dates.
...spend money on shopping as opposed to sweets.
...sleep in instead of focus on hunger pains.
...and, my favorite and least healthy habit, leave caloric room for an alcoholic night.

Try out some of those. Being ana doesn't mean you have to give up having fun. <3

(Speaking of fun:

Now that I'm in a situation where the internet won't crash whenever it sees the word "anorexic", I'm going to check up on all of you beautiful people and your lives!)

I hope tonight brings dreams for tomorrow.

Love,
Naomi.

Where Has Life Taken Me? (A [Happy] Reflection)

I really love this network of people that are committed to each other through this website and blogging.

For a few weeks now I've been in a position to post again. Every few days I would log in and start my "Welcome Back" message.  I tried so many different ways of describing what's happened the past few months, including the truth, some lies, but mostly a mottled mix of emotion and memory. But none of that felt right...

Only a few people read my blog (Probably none now, due to my hiatus!), and of those few most are currently *encouraging* themselves in ana/mia.  A few, on the other hand, are recovering.  Most are female, but some are male.  Most come from broken backgrounds, but some have just broken themselves.

It seems to me that the common denominator between everyone involved here is that we keep blogs to share some version of truth.  It doesn't matter who we share it with- Even if no one ever read this blog I would still write in it. The point is that I have a place to share my thoughts, feelings, struggles, triumphs... Life.

I would hope that the same comfort in writing is found in the many blogs with similar subject matter.

                  So basically:
If you missed me, I'm sorry. If something great or terrible has occurred in your life, I'll try to catch up on it.
                  Other than that, I'm back in the blogging game.
Happily Ana, just as always. <3

Oh yeah, and did I mention:

I really love this network of people that are committed to each other through this website and blogging.

Love,
Naomi.

Raspberry Chipotle Ranch Dip...

...did NOT ruin my fast!

First of all, a quick clarification:

I am not doing a 25 day fast, because I have roommates and they have feelings and those feelings are often wrapped up in my well-being and happiness. Thus... They'd freak. :P

However, I AM doing three sets of five day fasts, and only eating up to 350 calories a day on the weekends. In addition to that, I'm working out an hour a day... Which I know isn't a lot, but considering I wasn't working out at all before starting the fast, it can't hurt. :)

Now, on to the good stuff!

I'm in a co-ed business frat (Delta Sigma Pi), and we have rush this week. That means lots of social mingling with food and alcohol present. As every Ana knows... That BITES. (haha, pun intended...)

I coolly ignored the brownies and hot chocolate, passed up the Doritos, hardly glanced at the cheese cubes...

AND THEN: Some ho decided it'd be cool to hand me a chicken strip with Raspberry Chipotle Ranch Dip on it.

Now, I don't know if you've heard of such a thing, but I'm not going to post a picture of it because it would be triggering to anyone with a stomach. The point is, it's uh-may-zing.

I held it in my hand, calculating calories in my mind, justifying taking just one bite...

And then I promptly dropped it on the ground. No chicken strip would do ME in!

During the tumultuous cleanup and subsequent, "Naomi... You may be a bit of a klutz!", no one offered me a replacement strip, and when I left the mixer I left with dignity and a happily empty stomach. <3

Also, some chick somewhere appreciates my abstention.

I hope that all of you have a similar mind-over-food victory today, whether practicing or recovering! 

Good luck, beautiful ladies! <3

(Annnd... Some Responses!:

Smileyfreak and Scarlet- Thank you both, and you're totally right: Meshak would think I was beautiful even if I were a fish with fur!

Africana- I know I don't have to fast, but that's just an easier solution than eating appropriate amounts. I hope your plan is working for you, as well!

TheLittleFlower and Bl33ding Truth- I'm so glad you found me and that my blog makes you happy! ^_^

Sairs- You're welcome. <3)

Love,

Naomi.

The Situation

 

Um... No. Not that Situation...

First of All:

I recognize that the 12 (OMG!!!!) of you who follow me probably weren't waiting on edge for a post from me, but regardless I apologize for my weekend hiatus. Too much alcohol and calories made me more than a little moody. >.<

Secondly:

Today is Day One of a Fasting Challenge! w00t!

I have 25 days until my boy comes to visit me (He's in Cali, I'm in Texas), and I need to lose at least 20 pounds by then.

Crazy insane? Yes. I know.

BUT I DON'T CARE.

You all know how it is... You have goals, and they seem unrealistic, but if you try as hard as you can and push yourself to the limit, it's possible to do what all the Health Experts say shouldn't work.

So, what's keeping me positive about this? What's going to keep me motivated to succeed?

First and foremost:
This Blog and You People. <3

Also and not as importantly:

Thinspo, Punishments, and Homework.

If that proves inefficient, I WILL find something different, because I WILL be thinner when my boy comes than when he left!!!

Alright: This has been long. Sorry. Here's something to make YOU smile, and that isn't totally boring. ;)

www.43Things.com

This website is fantasmic. You list up to 43 life goals that you have, and as you complete them, you check them off the list. It seems silly, but sometimes it's just fun to surf around the site and look at all the creative, diverse, and lovely goals that everyone has in life. And... Reassuring to see that almost EVERYONE has some type of weight loss goal on there. Just reminds you that we are in the majority of people who want to change their bodies, but the minority of people willing to do it NOW.

 

Alright peeps-

I hope you like that site, and are doing well with your OWN goals!

(I'm'a go stalk your blogs now!)

Love,

Naomi.